You Won’t Believe What These People Said About the Backcountry

You Won’t Believe What These People Said About the Backcountry

You Won’t Believe What These People Said About the Backcountry


While we’d like to think that those who share the same passion of hiking as we do are just as smart and logical as we are, that’s not always the case. Unfortunately, there are some people who head out into the backcountry who are probably a lot better off just staying at home. The term “don’t ask stupid questions” has never been more true than it is now. If these don’t make you shake your head in disappointment, then we don’t know what will.

“Escalators would help on steep uphill sections.”

You mean we ACTUALLY have to walk on the hike? Really? Ugh!


“If you are looking for real adventure, skip Denali.”

Clearly you have no idea what “adventure” means. You literally probably arrived at Denali, stepped out of your car, looked up, said, “eh” and closed the door. Nice try, buddy. But, you’re wrong.

Source: Adventure Journal

“A Mcdonald’s would be nice at the end of the trailhead.”

It would, wouldn’t it? Ya know, I can’t think of anything that would be more rewarding at the end of a long hike than a Big Mac and a coke.


“Where does Alberta end and Canada begin?”

Have you seen a map? Like, ever? Because, it might be a really good idea to check one out before you get so lost in the wilderness that you don’t even know what country you’re in.

Source: Kristopher Willett, LinkedIn

“Is that two kilometres by foot or by car?”

I don’t know dude, but why don’t you go ahead and figure that out for us, and then let us know what your results are.

Source: Kristopher Willett, LinkedIn

“What is the white stuff on top of mountains?”

Is Santa Claus real? Is the North Pole a place? Is the moon made out of cheese?

Source: Kristopher Willett, LinkedIn

“Do they turn off the hot springs at night?”

Oh yeah! Of course they do! I just need to look for the switch…oh, I think it’s right here. Nope, no, that doesn’t exist. Read a book.

Source: Kristopher Willett, LinkedIn

“The places where trails do not exist are not well marked.”

Duh. That’s why they’re called “trail markers,” genius.


“Do not hover above the canyon whilst drunk.”

Damn! That’s exactly what I was planning on doing this Friday night. Bummer. Guess I’ll just have to get drunk elsewhere…

Source: Adventure Journal

“The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals.”

Sure, we’ll get right on that. Are there any other animals you’d like us to politely push out of their habitat while we’re at it?

Source: Inbox Humor

“Texas is bigger than Canada, right?”

Well, they do say that everything is bigger in Texas…but no, it’s not even close. Thanks for asking, though!

Source: Kristopher Willett, LinkedIn

“I don’t need to take water on a hike; I’m like a camel.”

Yeah, sureeeee you are. Well I’m gonna go ahead and bring my water, and you just let me know how that works out for ya.

Source: Hiking Las Vegas Blog

“Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose?”

So for that, you’re going to need to go to the zoo. But, if you do see a bear, I suppose you can try to ask it to take a selfie with you.

Source: Kristopher Willett, LinkedIn

“When we got out of the car, the smell of sulfur nearly knocked my girlfriend off her feet and the stench followed us through the day as it clung to our clothes and hair.”

Clearly, you didn’t research the park very well before coming here. You know what stinks worse than sulfur? You. You stink more.

Source: Adventure Journal

It’s hard to believe people actually said these, but if you have ever heard anyone say something even more ridiculous, then post it in the comments below!

hanalarock I'm Hana- a freelance travel writer and teacher who currently lives in South Korea. I'm originally from New York, but have spent the last two years traveling and living abroad. My first time hiking in the US was when I traveled around the country as a teenager. Though, my first adult backpacking trip was a year ago, when I hiked from Thailand down to Singapore for a month. I'm looking forward to many more adventures in the future. Visit my site for more information.